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His message to his sister “Cry later – Right now you have stuff to do – Prioritize and Execute”

August 20, 2017


This past May I was traveling for work and had a chance to talk to a friend I hadn’t seen in a while. We were talking about my book and he shared something with me I just had to share. He said his sister was the executor of his will and he wrote a message to her on the outside of the envelope. “Cry later…Right now you have s**t to do. Prioritize and execute!”. He told me his message to her sister was written with love and an understanding of the reality she will be facing when she’s faced with opening the envelope.


He is a current federal employee like me and told me the envelope contains the following: Medical power of attorney (POA), Declaration as to medical treatment, Durable POA for finances, Will and final arrangements. The envelope also includes copies of the designation of beneficiary forms for Thrift Savings Plan, Unpaid compensation of deceased civilian employee, Federal Employees Retirement system and Federal Employees Group Life Insurance. A list of all major financial accounts, points of contact, location of keys , picture backups, how to figure out the combination to his safe and more. It makes you think how many things should be in place and will need to be addressed.


Losing someone you love is never easy, and I know as my father’s trustee and executor of his will, that it will be difficult but I will follow his wishes defined in the terms of the trust and will. For those of us who are designated executors or trustees, it is a tremendous task that we must manage as we will have become the ones left behind. CJ




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Carla J. Vagnini

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